


I know, technically, this isn't legal

by become_android



Category: Killing Eve (TV 2018)
Genre: F/F, Face Slapping, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Possible Spoilers for 3x07, Spoilers for Up to 3x06, Swearing, dumpster diving, using what i've seen from promos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-20
Updated: 2020-05-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:54:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24283159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/become_android/pseuds/become_android
Summary: Eve finds a lead in her hunt for Villanelle and the Twelve on a piece of garbage.~Or what I hope is going to happen in 3x07 based off stuff I've seen in promos and such.
Relationships: (mentioned) - Relationship, Anna Leonova/Villanelle | Oksana Astankova, Eve Polastri/Hugo (mentioned), Eve Polastri/Niko Polastri (mentioned), Eve Polastri/Villanelle | Oksana Astankova
Comments: 3
Kudos: 72





	I know, technically, this isn't legal

**Author's Note:**

> Needed to get this out, just a quick thing predicting what I thinks gonna happen

It didn’t matter that Carolyn thought it was a waste to go after Villanelle. She had always thought it a waste, always thought going after the bigger picture of the Twelve was more important. But how could they ever find them without an in? According to Dasha, Villanelle had been promoted. New power, new information. And with Villanelle and Eve’s-- well, it was painfully obvious that it’d be easy to get her on their side. The only thing she needed was contact, and since Villanelle had disappointingly not popped up again since the bus, that meant Eve had to do some digging.

“Ew! Who recycles boxer shorts?” Eve said, scrunching her nose as she flung the shorts in question to the side. Bear chuckled awkwardly to the side of her, avoiding all eye contact with her. It’s not like she could say anything about it since she had tossed her dirty panties in his waste bin at work, but she still expected some semblance of decency from him. Hiding from an assassin at work was an alright excuse for dirty laundry, whereas Bear’s only excuse was his laziness.

“Tell me why again we’re dumpster diving?” Bear asked, leaning forward to look at the white box Eve ripped from underneath a worryingly-stained seat cushion. After turning the box over with a look of excitement, Eve’s joy melted and she tossed it to the side.

“We’re not dumpster diving. I’m looking for evidence,” Eve said before pointing at Bear, “And you just followed me out here.”

“You were rambling about cake. Why wouldn’t I follow you?” A moment lapsed as Eve continued throwing heaps of trash behind her in a seemingly endless pursuit. Mustard stained Eve’s cheek from a week-old sandwich that she had tossed over her shoulder, not noticing when it grazed her face in its flight past her. “Still, I don’t understand the point of digging through the trash for a cake box.”

“It’s not just any cake box,” Eve said, wiping her hands on her pants and searching the dwindling stacks of unsearched trash with squinting eyes, “It had the cake Villanelle sent me.”

“From your birthday?”

“When else did I get sent a cake here?” Eve said before resuming her dig through the trash, “If we can contact the bakery, they may be able to tell us how to get to her.”

“If we can convince them to give away their client’s personal information,” Bear said, and Eve shot him a glare. He raised his hands up in defense before they fell back to the edge of the dumpster. “Maybe I should get in there and help you look.”

“Not necessary,” Eve spoke with a triumphant smile, lifting the lid of a white box out of the depths of the garbage like King Arthur retrieving Excalibur from the stone. Her eyes shone with a brightness unlike any else, and her smile was the largest it’d been in weeks. The pain from her scar seemed to vanish in an instant. She hurtled over the side of the dumpster, rushing into Bitter Pill as Bear huffed behind her. Taking the stairs had been such a burden ever since Rome, but today-- today she conquered each step with unbelievable ease. At the top of the stairs she threw open the office door and marched in, brandishing her find in front of her.

“So you found-- Jesus Christ, you’re filthy. You got mustard on your cheek,” Jamie said, gesturing to show where the stain was. Eve wiped at her cheek and gaped at the yellow sauce on her hand. At that moment, Bear exited the elevator, shaking his head and pointing at Eve.

“You can’t go running up the stairs like that when I’m following,” He said pointing at the elevator, “These work perfectly well, y’know.”

“Why didn’t you tell me there was mustard on my face?” Eve said, shoving her mustard-covered hand in his face. Bear opened his mouth to defend himself, but Jamie piped up before he could say anything.

“Clean up in the bathroom,” He said, trying to take the lid from her grasp. She drew it close to her chest with a tight grip, and Jamie chuckled a little, “It’s safe with us. Don’t worry.”

No one else was in the bathroom when Eve entered. She looked around at the room that had become so familiar after the week she’d spent camped out at the office; learning about the lack of hot water and the low air pressure in the hand dryers had been a trying experience on top of the whole assassin knowing where she lived ordeal. Cold water easily removed the mustard from her face and hands, but Eve found herself rubbing her face even after the stain was gone. She made eye contact with herself in the mirror, and touched her fingers gently on her bottom lip. An old cut from a blade hidden in a tube of lipstick. She’d been so foolish to use the gift. Of course Villanelle would have worked out some way for something so seemingly innocent to hurt her. She’d been even more foolish when she’d pressed her lips against Villanelle’s. An innocent action with so many more consequences than a simple cut. Her skin tingled as she closed her eyes and remembered the kiss: the immediacy in which her urges overtook her, the warmth of the other woman’s mouth, the shocked expression in her adversary’s eyes (what she’d give to shock her again), the headbutt after. God, why did it have to be foreheads colliding instead of another of mouths? 

Shit. She had to focus. The hand dryer attempted to dry off her hands, but Eve wound up having to wipe her damp hands against her pants instead. Bitter Pill really needed to get those replaced. Inside the office, Bear sat at his desk while Jamie stood hunched over it, both looking at the cake lid sitting in front of the other evidence. Photos of the Barcelona kill, the clown kill. Niko pitchforked. Her hand instinctively went to her ring finger, but she remembered that she’d given the ring back to Niko’s father, Maciek. If Niko was going to be done with her, then she had to be done with him. It didn’t do her any good to keep pleading for something she knew she’d end up ditching anyway.

“Okay, but why would she send a cake before forking him?” Jamie asked with a furrowed brow. Eve pulled a manilla folder from on top of Kenny’s-- well, it was her desk. Inside she drew out a picture of Frank’s murder scene; there was blood between his legs and all over that dress. Her dress. Her dress that Villanelle had tailored specifically with her in mind. Her dress that had looked so… sexy on her.

“She didn’t ‘fork him’,” Eve said, handing the picture to Jamie, “The cake was a gift, like that dress.”

“So she gives gifts to her victims?” Bear said, looking over at Jamie before looking up at Eve. “Gave this guy a dress and then cut his knob off. Gave you a cake and then speared your husband.”

“That dress wasn’t for him. And I already said she didn’t stab him--”

“She was already messing with you with that cake, why wouldn’t she just go ahead and stab him to push you further?”

“She killed Anna’s husband so they could be together, and Anna completely rejected her,” As Eve spoke, she searched her pockets for her phone, “Villanelle wouldn’t make that mistake again. Shit, where’s my phone?”

“You left it in your desk before we went dumpster diving,” Bear said, pulling out a document from a different manilla folder, “Wait, wasn’t Anna Villanelle’s like… lover?”

“Here it is!” Eve grabbed her phone from where it laid beside Kenny’s Rubix cube. She walked back to Bear’s desk and started typing in the bakery’s phone number.

“Who was the dress for?” Jamie finally spoke up. Her face flushed when she met his gaze, and his mouth hung open for a moment before he asked, “For you?”

“Well, she gave me a whole suitcase of clothes, it wasn’t just--”

“Wait, how’d the dress end up on Frank?” Bear spoke as he tapped a finger on the picture. “If she gave it to you wouldn’t you still have it?”

“Cause she took it back when she broke into my house.”

“To kill you?” Bear asked with wide eyes.

“To have dinner with me.” Before they could ask her more questions, Eve pressed the call button on her phone and held up her finger to silence them. So many questions. She missed having a team who already knew all the nuances of her investigation. Her eyes wandered to the empty desk that stood stoic to her right and focused on the Rubix cube. Things were so different now.

“Dunns Bakery, this is Ronnie. What can I help you with?” A woman’s voice crackled on the other side of the line. Eve started to walk away from the two men as she put on a fake smile to try and sound peppier across the phone.

“Hi, my girlfriend ordered a birthday cake from your shop a couple weeks ago. It looked like a bus? Had the words ‘Happy Birthday Eve’ written on the side?”

“Oh, yes,” Ronnie spoke, “That was a fun one to make, we don’t get many buses.”

“Do you think you could give me her phone number?” The other woman started to protest, but Eve quickly interjected, “I know, technically, it’s not legal. But her family hasn’t been very supportive, homophobes y’know, and they forced her to move and change her number. I’ve been trying to get through with them, but that old cake box just made me think to call. I don’t know why I bothered--”

“My family threatened to disown me when I started seeing my girlfriend, Janine. I get how controlling family can be,” Ronnie laughed a little into the phone, “And your girlfriend was very sweet when she came into the shop… How about I ask you about something she told me about you two, just to see if you get the same answer? And if you’re right, I can give you the number?”

“That sounds great!” Eve spun around to flash a quick thumbs-up to Jamie and Bear before spinning around to focus on the call.

“Why did she order a bus cake?” Of course she’d immediately chatted to the friendly baker all about the bus. Why wouldn’t she?

“We had our first kiss on a bus,” Eve smiled, but not the fake smile she’d worn when she started the call. It was small, and timid, but it was real nonetheless. “She had a new perfume and asked me to smell her, asked what it smelled like. And I couldn’t keep myself from kissing her.”

“Awww,” Ronnie cooed on the line, “Your stories line up. Here’s her number.” Eve grabbed the nearest pen and paper and wrote down the number with a furrowed brow, double checking with Ronnie that it was right and then thanking her before hanging up. She raised the paper in the same triumphant manner she had when she’d found the cake lid. This victory was sweeter than any cake, yet Jamie and Bear just sat in front of her with shocked expressions on their faces.

“What? We got the number,” Eve said, waving the paper for emphasis, “We can trace her phone and find her now.”

“That day you came in with bruises, you said you two had fought on a bus,” Jamie said, leaning away from Eve and touching his own forehead, “Were you lying?”

“We did fight!” Eve said and her eyes widened, “It’s just-- okay, well, yes--”

“Feels like your relationship with her compromises this whole thing,” Jamie spoke as he shook his head. Eve placed her hands against her temples and closed her eyes.

“We’re not in a relationship. A relationship would mean we’re having sex.” At the back of Eve’s mind nagged a memory from Rome.  _ You should let yourself go once in a while.  _ Villanelle’s moans, hot and heavy in her ear, while she straddled Hugo.  _ I can help you _ . Even before that, when Villanelle had dropped off those flowers, she’d used Niko the same way she’d used Hugo. Then there was the fact that Villanelle masturbated about her alot. So while technically she wasn’t lying, it didn’t feel like she was being honest.

“We all know that relationships are more than sex.” Jamie shrugged. “I mean, you still thought you were in a relationship with your husband when he went all the way to Poland to get away from you and all your shit.”

“Oh, screw you!” She yelled before slapping him across the face. Everyone seemed to hold their breath as Eve’s hand fell back to her side, shaking the whole time. Jamie turned to face her, head dipped but eyes raised up in a glare. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean--”

“Were you like this before her? Or were your choices just as screwed up?” He asked. Her mouth opened, and closed, and opened again, but any answer she could have given couldn’t have been honest. “Get the fuck out of here.”

**Author's Note:**

> Ok along with this I also want to predict that Konstantin dies of a heart attack at the train station with Villanelle. Eve is also at the train station but not for V, and she tries calling V but she doesn't pick up (cause Konstantin is dying) and then she sees V upset over dying Konstantin. I don't have any other ideas for how the episode plays out, but I've strapped on my clown shoes so honk honk I guess


End file.
